Father God, may Your hands be on those emails I sent out… I’m putting things back into Your cares ! You determine my life’s course. Open doors to places You want me to go . Not my will, but Your will be done ! 

I’m sorry for slowly leaving You out after achieving some successes the last few months. Help me not forget that You , were the one who grants me these blessings. Help me be always be grateful to things, extra double portion that You have granted me ! Help me not doubt that I don’t deserve these blessing You have poured out to Your Children! I am very blessed to be a Child of God ! 

But it is God who judges: He brings one down, he exalts another. - Psalm 75:7

tomorrow morning I want to seek You first, before the distractions come in. I want that craving.. so much.. Your absence, its tearing my soul apart . There’s a hole here so obvious and I can feel it. 

I’ve always known that You gave me everything I needed and wanted , and I know its You first that I should seek before anything else . My desires, my wants ; help me not focus on the things I want for my life and this one and only chance to live it well . I’m only 21 years and 3 months and 10 days old once. 

Feels like I’m losing the battle, but there’s this string that still holds me , something to grasp me before I fall completely away. It’s the experience with You before, that You were absolutely faithful when I wanted to know. No other has proved me so true as Your promises. 

An idle mind is definitely leading my soul away. The more I learn, the less I know.  

The mind is definitely a scary playground ; and how one lives depends on what your mind tells you to do, or makes your soul believe. Sow a thought, reap an action.

Come dwell with me again. I need a friend who can listen to my every thought, even if its not written down, or typed down, or spoken. I want a friend who knows my thoughts and responses to it. A response or an acknowledgement of a sincere friend. A friend who guides and makes me accountable to.